Several recent news reports have reminded us all of some of the reasons that victims do not tell when they are abused by a sexual predator. Whether you are revisiting the saga of the Clarence Thomas hearings and the White House team that set about destroying the reputation of a respected law professor in order to have Thomas confirmed, actions for which they later apologized, or reading the pleading letters from Tom DeLay and several others former members of Congress asking for leniency for former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert in a case involving the cover up of his molestation of young boys while a high school coach, the message to victims is clear. The establishment will discount your trauma in service of what they want.
Victims see and hear these actions and their fears are confirmed. Perpetrators promote secrecy by telling victims that they won't be believed. Perpetrators convince their victims that no one will take them seriously and that the grown ups will come to the defense of the perpetrator if allegations are made. Victims see these kinds of things in the news and are, once again, convinced that speaking up is useless and will be painful and discouraging.
The one bright spot in all this is the actions of the Judge in the Hastert case. He gets it! He saw Hastert for who is truly is and imposed a sentence that was 3 times the amount recommended by the prosecutor. He called Hastert a serial child molester and looked to the damage done by the abuse and the fact that Hastert tried to blame the victim by saying he was being blackmailed when all he was doing was compensating for damage done before imposing the sentence. He required Hastert be listed on the Sex Offender Registry and pay $250,000 to the Victim's fund in addition to the months in prison.
As a society, we have to keep telling children and young people and others who are victims of sexual assault that speaking up and speaking out when abuse happens is our only avenue of action that will make a difference. As parents, grandparents, and caring adults we must always reassure our children that they will be believed and that we will be there for them throughout the process. We can stop perpetrators from living in the shadows if we keep encouraging those they harm to come forward and say!