DISPELLING MYTHS ABOUT CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE
The mere mention of sexual abuse of children evokes anger and fear from adults around us. Often the response is clouded by myths and half-truths used to convince themselves that this could never happen in their family or community.
Identifying this fear for what it is and letting go of it is an important part of the process of reducing the risk for children. However, it is also important to recognize that this fear promotes a reliance on myths that can undermine any real progress in this area.
Adults believe that what they know about child molesters is the “truth.” They do not consider these “truths” as myths. Let’s look at a few of these “truths” so you can see that they are not facts. Please be prepared that dismantling these beliefs and showing that they are myths will also dissolve a false sense of security enjoyed by many. Dispelling myths requires us to confront that anyone could be a risk to our children and our only hope of preventing that is to learn how to recognize the behaviors of potential abusers and interrupt it.
According to the dictionary, a myth is “a fiction or half-truth, especially one that forms part of an ideology, or a fictitious story, person, or thing…a person or thing existing only in imagination, or whose actual existence is not verifiable.”[i] When applied to certain things that people believe they “know” about child molesters, reality begins to sink in.
There are a number of myths about child molesters that are prevalent in society. Let’s examine three of them.
Ø MYTH: Child molesters are crazy men who are easily recognizable.
FACT: Child molesters look like your neighbors, friends and acquaintances. They are people you work with, members of your family, and other trusted adults and adolescents in your neighborhoods and communities. Abusers come from all income brackets, and all ethnic, racial and other demographic backgrounds. In fact, in recent surveys, there was virtually no difference in the race or ethnicity percentages of abusers when compared to the race and ethnicity of the victims being surveyed.[ii] In addition, slightly more than 26% of those who sexually abused female relative under the age of eighteen were also under eighteen at the time of the abuse.[iii]
Ø MYTH: Strangers are responsible for most child sexual abuse.
FACT: Obviously, some strangers do molest children. The news media is quick to report these incidents and remind us of stranger danger. However, the primary risk to children comes from trusted adults in the child’s life. People we know and trust are more likely to be the ones who molest our children. Only 11% of abuse is committed by strangers. The real risk to children is from family members or relatives and other persons known to and trusted by the child and the family.[iv] Biologically related adults are responsible for 29% of the sexual abuse of our children and trusted adults in our families, homes, and communities commit 60% of the sexual abuse of our children. Children should not go off with strangers but strangers are not the real problem.
Ø MYTH: Most child molesters are homosexuals.
FACT: Most sex abusers are men and most victims are female. Clearly homosexuals are not the primary offenders. Even those adult males who victimize boys do not identify themselves as homosexual. They often have female adult sex partners and are somewhat homophobic. They think that adult male homosexual conduct is disgusting. Although most child molesters have trouble sustaining adult relationships, they usually marry at some time in their lives.[v]
Child molesters don’t fit into any specific category of people. They are people who get sexual pleasure from activities with children and are attracted to the particular characteristics of their victim of choice.[vi]
Starting to confront the degree to which we are governed by our belief that these myths are “facts” can be challenging and somewhat daunting. It is easier to believe the myths and tell ourselves that we can protect our children from “those people.” However, the risk to our children will continue to expand if we don’t start to deal with the reality of who presents the real risk to our children.
It is time to take the next step. Begin to notice how prevalent these myths are in your thinking and start letting them go. Use the facts provided here to help you learn how to protect children from predators.
Sources:
[i] The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.
[ii] D.E.H. Russell, The Secret Trauma, Incest in the Lives of Girls and Women, Rev. Edition 1999, p.221.
[iii] D.E.H. Russell, The Secret Trauma, Incest in the Lives of Girls and Women, Rev. Edition 1999, p.220.
[iv] D.E.H Russell & R.M. Bolen, The epidemic of rape and child sexual abuse in the United States. (2000), Beverly Hills, CA. Sage.
[v] J. Bancroft, Human Sexuality and its Problems. (1989) London: Churchill Livingstone.
[vi] N.Groth, A. Burgess, H.J. Bimbaum, & T. Gary. Youth Protection Guidelines, BSA Volunteer Training. (1988) Irving, Tx: BSA.